If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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