My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
