hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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