***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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