what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize