Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
