Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
