It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
