Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
