She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
