Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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