The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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