Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
