i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
