Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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