dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize