My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
