Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
