he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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