Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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