dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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