I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
