it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
