I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
