East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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