i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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