i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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