see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
