I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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