ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
