I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i now understand why vodka
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
