I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
