my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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