i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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