Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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