Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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