take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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