I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize