so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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