I accidentally had phone sex last night
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
