Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The power of my boobs compel you
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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