I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you would pick up someone in the library
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
