Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
