i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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