We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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