I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need mimosas to revive my soul
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
