Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
