when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
