took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
