If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
