Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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