Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
