do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize