I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
