did you get engaged???
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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