I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I want is dick and wine.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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