Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
