Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
