So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
