Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
