she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
