Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
