what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
