well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
